Batten the hatches down and put your Hard Hat on. We seem to be about to hit stormy weather and there has been a bit of a Mexican stand off in our house this week, which is quite unusual as it was between Lovely Man ( LM) and myself.
Its not often that he digs his heels in, but this week he did. The reason for all of this angst was the “appearing meadow” in our back garden. The weather being so mild at this time of the year had meant that the ” last cut for this year” had become rather academic and each morning I looked out, I could see that the grass was considerably higher than the day before.
Having asked LM to give it another cut he declared that ” it was done for this year” and it was ” fine!”. Now ” fine” is not a word I like if only because its such a weak descriptive word and so I continued to badger. His response to that was to ignore me until I threatened to get the Llamas back in to give it a trim. He scoffed at that suggestion but I could see that I had him on the run. I had initially bought the Llamas to keep the grass under control by their continual grazing of it and to fertilise the flower beds. However, Mohammed didn’t like Pete ( the male Llama) pushing his head through the dog flap and generally they had become rather bad tempered and unco-operative. Far too much spitting had been occurring and no one had wanted to go near them, not even to feed them. I also had to replace a few of the fence panels where they had had their fill of luscious grass and finished it off with my beech fence posts. Yes, all in all it was a good decision of mine to get rid of the Llamas, but LM didn’t need to know that and if I wanted to get the grass cut one more time, I needed to keep the pressure up.
A few hours later I went out with my slippers on and having waded out to the deepest point of the meadow shouted that the grass was now almost up to my knees and if it kept it up growing like this I could, one day, find myself lost . A round of cheers goes up from the Gallery. It reminded me of the film ” Honey I shrunk the kids !” I slunk down a bit so the grass appeared much higher than it really was, but the point wasn’t lost on him…. anyway Arsenal was just about to kick off so noting would be achieved in the following ninety minutes.
LM pretended he wasn’t listening and so I kept muttering about getting the Llamas back on loan, if only for the weekend. The thought of Llamas and their cloven hoofs ( or is it hooves?) churning up his beloved lawn was enough to send him up in a puff of smoke and when he thought I wasn’t looking at “half time” I could see he was out there checking the mower.
Meanwhile out on the front drive, it would appear to be a nice day so Obi thought he would give his car a wash . Many of you may remember that Obi has a rather smart Range Rover Evoke which he never uses. It has been parked up on the drive for many a long month and never used. Added to that he has wrapped it in a ground sheet and tied it down in case of strong winds This way he says it wont get wet; dirty or blow away. However for some reason today he thought he would take the covers off – wash it and then…. and wrap it up again. A 40,000 GBP car – never used – just unwrapped to wash and then wrapped up again. You couldn’t make it up.
On day I said to him, ” Obi, doesn’t your Papa wonder about the car? He was very generous to you and bought you a (BRAND NEW!!!! F F S ) top of the range car to get around England but sofar you don’t seem to have used it yet! Can I ask why is that?”
He thought for a minute and then said ” Well Miss Jackie, its a bit like you and the camels ( he’s talking about the Llamas!) You don’t need a camel to cut the grass but they are there if you do. And this is the same for my car. I don’t need a car but one day I might and it is there ” I decided I couldn’t argue with his logic even though some more saner parents might have just bought him a Nissan Micra…. and not a Range Rover Evoke!
I leave him unwrapping or wrapping, I couldn’t work out which it was in the end, when I hear a motor from the back. I sneak to the kitchen window and it would appear that LM has taken me at my word and decided to mow the grass before I reinstate the Llamas. Its a hollow victory for me because I know he will be grumpy from now until Tea time.
Oh well, at least the grass is at a more manageable level for the winter…