I am trying to take a quiet minute somewhere. Currently I am coming to you from “The Gents !” What? The Gents toilet, I hear you say? How bizarre!
Yep! That’s right, but only because it’s quieter than “The Ladies”. I always nip into The Gents if I can. Close the loo door and sit there. Sometimes I even take a sweet in and suck it whilst contemplating. And yes, in case you wondered, I do open and pop it into my mouth before I sit down. So no cross contamination…..
So why would I want a quiet corner of the office? After all, it is “closed season” and whilst that can relate to “huntin’ ; fishin’ & shootin'” for some of us, it also relates to the fact that we don’t have any students in unless they are “Late Bookers” And, Late Bookers are the subject of this sorry little tale, today.
It’s still a busy time as we are preparing new programmes and selling to agents. Currently it’s going very well selling to Danish High Schools a Work Experience Programme in Cape Town. I am rather pleased with this, but of course smugness is always the downfall of the Common Man…..
The current subject of my angst is the amount of students we get from Paris suburbs and when I say ” Paris Suburbs”, believe me, I dont mean the 8th Arrondissement, if you get my subtle drift! Of course, with LM having taken himself off to Malaga for a boys week playing Golf, not only am I feeling quite abandoned but my work load has increased.
Anyway, back to the toilet. Sherry Much-Humper, is having a real problem with these boys. Sherry is a lady of slightly, only slightly, advanced years and who does a good line in kaftans and very red lipstick. Think Mama Cass for the dress style and she obviously read the Memo which said that red lipstick on older ladies is quite age defying and thinks that the more you slap on, the younger you become. Obviously that’s not entirely accurate but I have to admit ( having gone out and bought ” Red Hot Mama” shade myself yesterday, ) it does help a lot. So there we are having a problem with Sherry and the boys from the ‘Burbs. ” ..its nothing personal” I hear myself saying, but in truth it is. They don’t like her and it ” aint gonna change!”
I did ask if she could be a little more flexible in the way she communicates with them but Sherry is now making this extremely personal and I cant change her mind. The most recent incident was when she was writing on the white board and they starting throwing pen knives ( so not a long blade, you can breath again) around her head. It took a minute or two for her to notice because they do have quite good aims but the last but one blade just caught her hair ( it is long, flowing and, of course, Gothic black) I asked them how they had got them into the Country and they told me that, apparently, ” fruit knives” are ok. I didn’t want to argue….
By the time she had turned around and tried to see what was happening, the class was in floods of laughter and she was incandescent with rage. In fact so angry was she that her cheeks had turned the same red as her lips and she looked like Aunt Sally from Worzel Gummidge
The day before they had found a wastepaper bin ( metal of course ) and set fire to some paper in it. I have to say their ideas in hacking her off are quite unique and I would give them ten out of ten for application and persistence. As for marking them on their improved level of English, well, lets just say its an ongoing project…….
Opps, there is a note being slipped under the door which may require my attention. I will have to vacate my quiet spot but I will leave you with some very uplifting music. Heavens, it takes you back……